Valor Koert Freeman - Jackson, TN Birth Story

Almost two years ago I walked into a house to document a birth story and heard crying. I rushed back to the bedroom, hoping that I was hearing something other than what I thought. Nope. The baby had been born in the 30 minutes it took to get from church to the Freeman's house. Emily looked at me and shrugged as if to say, "Sorry, I tried!". It all just happened so fast. Even though I missed the actual birth, I stayed and documented the first amazing moments of the little life of Jemima Jean. 

I was so excited when Emily told me she was pregnant again and wanted me to be there to document the birth story. I was so nervous that I would miss it again this time! I had my car all packed and everything ready to go for when I got the call. Last Sunday I got a text that the baby was coming and I dashed out of my house and headed to the Freeman home. 

I didn't catch any red lights, see any police, or get stuck behind any slow drivers as I prayed behind the wheel that I would get there in time to capture the birth. 

I arrived in time, which I was so thankful for. There was a kiddie pool on the porch and Emily was right in the middle of a contraction. Daniel was on speaker phone with the midwife who was trying like crazy to make it before the baby was born. 

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Emily was remarkably calm even in the absence of any medical professionals. We honestly weren't sure if the midwife would make it in time to help her deliver, or if her parents would be present. Daniel held the phone out so Emily could hear the midwife talking as she drove to meet us.

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Emily and Daniel's two oldest girls were playing in the front yard and anxiously awaiting the birth of their newest sibling. I asked both of them if they thought it would be a boy or a girl. They both said girl without any hesitation. Jemima Jean slept inside, not knowing she'd wake up and not be "the baby" anymore.  

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Emily was pretty nervous that their midwife wouldn't arrive in time so they called over their friend who is a retired OB/GYN. 

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Emily's parents have tried to be present at all of their grandchildren's births but the labors have all happened so quickly they have never made it in time. Until now! Emily's mom was so happy as she walked up the porch steps that she hadn't missed this one!

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

The family chose not to find out the sex of the baby, so they had a boy and a girl name picked out. Emily told me later that they had just decided on the boy name the previous day. She hadn't felt fully ready to have the baby until the names were chosen, but she felt at peace now that they knew what they would call their child. These were the name choices they selected, chalked on to the porch steps, only feet away from where she gave birth. 

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

The older girls had their own "baby bags" like the kind expectant mothers keep ready. Their baby bags were full of books and quiet activities that they could participate in while mom and dad were occupied. 

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Emily started having contractions around 6:30, texted me to come at 6:50. I arrived at the house at 7:20 and the baby was born by 8:00. It all went super, super fast. 

One of the things I LOVE about birth story photography is the raw reality of it. I've watched several women give birth (all of whom had done it before and knew what was in store for them) and each time there's a moment of complete transparency before the baby comes. These women are strong, and brave, and confident, and completely amazing to me. In the midst of all that strength and awesome power, each of them has had a moment when the pain reached it's peak and they cried out for God to stop it/save them from it/pull them through it. 

Emily whispered, "Help me."

Daniel turned to the midwife, seeming slightly alarmed, and reported that Emily was asking for help. 

Emily quickly responded, "I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to God. Help me."

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

And I believe that when you ask you receive.

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Emily gave birth exactly how she wanted: surrounded by loved ones. And by midwives, who did in fact make it in time. Emily did this like a champ, with essentially no assistance.

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

This is Emily and Daniel finding out that their three daughters have a baby BROTHER!

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

This is Providence being told that the baby is a boy! She reached out and touched his head, reporting back that his skin was super soft.

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Everyone transitioned inside to get cleaned up. Valor's big sisters are fascinated by him... and keep calling him "her". 

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Ruthie was told she could pick out an outfit for the new baby to wear, bringing it back to show mom what she decided.

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Valor meeting his grandparents.

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

After a check up it was determined that he was measuring at almost exactly the same height and weight as previous Freeman babies.

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Congratulations to the Freeman family on their happy and healthy baby boy Valor! It's always such an honor to be included in this huge life moment. It was amazing to be present for this.

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, Tennessee Birth Story Photographer

Meadow Hills Styled Shoot - Nashville, TN

Earlier this year I threw together this beautiful styled shoot with some amazing Nashville wedding vendors. I'm so thankful to everyone who was willing to donate their time and effort to this project. I think it turned out lovely! 

I love the use of natural color palettes and used neutrals as inspiration for this shoot. 

Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue
Meadow Hills Nashville, Tennessee Wedding Venue

Venue: Meadow Hill Farm
www.meadowhillfarmweddings.com

Planner: Kenzie Events
www.kenzieevents.com

Videography: KLassy Productions
www.klasseyproductions.com

Dress: Posh Bridal Couture
www.poshmn.com

Paper Goods: Mallory Mayhew at Letters from Mal
www.lettersfrommal.com

Floral Design: Robin's Nest
www.robinsnestweddingflowers.com

Cake: Nashville Sweets
www.nashvillesweets.com

Love Your Neighbor As You Love Yourself

I'm just going to admit right here and now that I LOVE Justin Bieber's new song Love Yourself. Yep, those are words I never thought I'd say. I've never liked a Justin song before and it probably won't happen again. But here we are - I love that song. I've dedicated time to learning how to play it on ukulele so that's where we are now. 

That actually has nothing to do with the subject of this post, but I just had to confess that to you due to the title. Moving on.

There's a thought that has occurred to me many times throughout my life, but I've never said anything about it. I grew up going to church, but even if you didn't you've probably heard this line before. Love your neighbor as yourself. It's one of the most well known tidbits of scripture. Here's the full context for you, just in case you're wondering. 

Jesus is speaking to a group and one of the teachers of religious law comes up to Jesus and asks him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?". Jesus responds that the most important commandment is to love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. He adds to his response that the second greatest commandment: to love your neighbor as yourself.

I've heard lessons on this passage a thousand times and usually the take away is that we are to treat people well. Don't think of yourselves more highly than others. Everyone is your neighbor. Treat people like Jesus treated people. Great lessons - I agree.

What always strikes me is that Jesus specifically says, "as yourself". He doesn't just ask us to love our neighbor and call it a day. He doesn't ask us to love our neighbor even more than we love ourselves. He asks us to love our neighbor AS we love ourselves. 

Here's the trouble though. What if you don't love yourself? For most of my adult life I've struggled with deep depression and body image issues. I don't usually treat myself very well at all. I use hateful speech about myself in my own mind. I degrade myself. I do not hold myself in high regard. In the past I've even hurt myself or wanted to not exist at all. When in the midst of that depression this passage was so confusing to me. I only have to show the amount of love to another as I would show my own self. Ok, so I have permission to hate people basically. Because I hate myself. That doesn't seem like what God would want me to do, but that's what I'm hearing. Love my neighbor as myself. I don't love myself. I cannot love my neighbor. 

I've always just written this off as some loophole Jesus didn't realize he was allowing, or just a problem within myself. Maybe others have never seen the problem with this passage - maybe it's just me. I decided a long time ago that I know what the passage SHOULD say, so I'll live like that. I'll live as if Jesus asked me to love my neighbor and then he stopped talking. I'll take the love of myself out of the equation. It's not about me anyway, right? He must have misspoken. 

But lately I think I was wrong about that. Maybe this isn't a loophole, or a misinterpretation. Maybe Jesus realized that in order to see value in others we DO have to see value in ourselves. In order to properly show love to God's creation we have to be willing to love all of it. We usually apply that terminology to people we don't like or identify with. People with different values, different backgrounds - love them anyway we say. But what if I apply the same logic to myself? In order to properly show love to God's creation I have to be willing to love all of it - even myself. 

How can I say I see the image of God in my neighbor if I wish I didn't exist? How can I realize the God-given value in the person next to me while not acknowledging that same value in me? How can I claim to love others without exception, but have a list of exceptions for why I can't love myself?

I think these specific words were intentional, used in order to drive us toward a more perfect realization of the love we are to have for mankind. I think God knew that we would be hardest on ourselves, unwilling to forgive our own trespasses, reluctant to accept grace. These words challenge us to be forgiving and merciful to the person we're least prepared to treat that way. But by treating ourselves with this love we learn better how to heap it on others without hesitation.

Love Your Neighbor Stephanie Benge Photography

Savannah + Mason - Paducah, KY Wedding

It was such a pleasure working with Savannah and Mason. These two really love each other, and it shows! I had so much fun with their friends and families too. Savannah's girls were bubbly and full of positive energy getting ready for the big day!

Don't you love this ring set that Mason designed for Savannah?

Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer
Stephanie Benge Photography | Jackson, TN Wedding Photographer