Things Will Not Go As Planned

I remember that before my wedding I was absolutely sick over guests who I found out wouldn't be able to make it. I cried so many times when I received a "no" RSVP from someone I cared about. I remember thinking that if I didn't have this certain kind of food, or napkin, or flower, or whatever, it would all just be ruined. I remember spending way too much time thinking about if something went wrong. I found wedding planning to be incredibly stressful.

Well... 

Lots of people I invited couldn't come to the wedding, it was too far away for most of my friends. I left my iPod (the source of the ceremony music) sitting in my car for several hours (IN JUNE IN TEXAS) and the poor thing got overheated and couldn't play my music on time and my ceremony started like fifteen minutes late. I spent a couple hours creating a toss bouquet for the reception and forgot all about it and left without tossing it. My adorable navy blue pumps that I bought as my "something blue" were apparently very low quality and the blue started to peel off of the shoes. My wedding shoes were literally falling apart and looked like they had leprosy. Kyle and I didn't arrange for anyone to bring our car around so when we did our "exit" there was no car for us to get in to. 

Things WILL go wrong.

And it won't matter at all. 

All of this happened on my wedding day and none of it bothered me. It was an amazing day. I didn't cry or freak out or panic. I didn't sit and dwell on how it had all fallen apart. It was an awesome wedding. My friends, family, and I had a great time. Things went wrong, and none of it mattered.

The lesson here: STOP FREAKING OUT! This is supposed to be fun! Pick your battles, don't sweat the small stuff, soak up this awesome time in your life, and plan an amazing wedding. Plan your perfect day. Then when the plan falls apart know in your heart that it is STILL the perfect day. 

To See or Not to See - Continued

Last week I shared a blog about the reasons why I love doing a First Look. You can see that blog post here. I do LOVE first looks, but I also understand that they are not for everyone. I don't want my couples to do anything they aren't comfortable with. So, as promised in the other post, here are some options for the couple who wants amazing photos, but doesn't want to see each other before the ceremony.

1. The Extended Cocktail Hour
IDEAL FOR: summer, long receptions, late ceremony start time around 6 or 7

Not seeing each other before the ceremony can really strain the schedule. Trying to fit all of the family photos, bridal party photos, and couple portraits in the time between the ceremony and reception can be tough. An extended cocktail hour where guests can mingle, drink, and snack on some finger foods is a perfect solution. Rather than sitting at tables and waiting for the couple to arrive, this allows guests to do something fun to fill that time. The couple can spend more time on photos this way before people start to get antsy. Also, if the ceremony started around 6 or 7 this is the best light of the day in the summer months!

2. The Fake Leave
IDEAL FOR: summer, shorter receptions, early ceremony start time around 2 or 3

I actually used this one twice last wedding season! How do we fit family photos, bridal party photos, and couple portraits in the time between the ceremony and reception? DON'T. With this plan the couple takes quick family and bridal party photos, then heads straight to the reception. When all of the reception activities are over, the couple does their exit and leaves the wedding like normal. Instead of driving off to the honeymoon destination, the couple will give guests time to clear out (stop by Sonic and grab a drink... make out in the car... whatever you want to do to pass the time) and circle back around and meet me. We can either meet back at the wedding venue, or meet at some other decided upon photo location. There's no rush, no guests are waiting on you, no pressure. Also, if the ceremony started around 2 or 3, this should put the post reception photos right around the best light of the day in the summer months. 

3. Day After Session
IDEAL FOR: anyone at any time

It might sound weird, but this is a thing that people are doing now! If a First Look or one of the options mentioned above isn't ideal for you - maybe skip the wedding day couple portraits all together. Like The Fake Leave, the couple would grab quick family and bridal party photos immediately following the ceremony. Then the couple would go enjoy the reception. Either the next day, or some day after the couple has arrived back from the honeymoon they can get all decked out in their wedding clothes again and have a special, private, stress free photo session wherever they want. 

I'd love to get feedback! Are there any other wedding topics you'd like to read about? Any other questions you need answers? Let me know in a comment below!

To See or Not to See

Let's talk about First Looks.

I've been shooting weddings for years now, and it's easy for me to forget that my clients have never done this before. To me a First Look is a standard wedding element. I know the pros and cons, the situations that require it, and the situations that leave more flexibility. Of course I do. It's my job. My clients don't know. Of course they don't! They've never planned a wedding before. I had a face palm moment at one of my weddings last year when I strongly encouraged the couple to do a First Look. Later, it came to my attention that they didn't know what I was talking about!

That's why I want to share this today. I want my clients (and others) to be educated about their options and feel supremely confident in the choice they make either to do a First Look, or not to. 

WHY I LOVE FIRST LOOKS:

1. The schedule

If the couple chooses to see each other before the ceremony that means ALL of the photos can get knocked out before the ceremony starts. To some that might not seem like a big deal. Why not just do them after? Well, it takes a lot of time to get wedding party photos, family photos, and portraits of the bride and groom. All of that time is time taken away from enjoying the reception with friends and family! When the ceremony is over and the bride and groom just want to get to sit down and eat dinner it's easy to rush though photos and not give them the time they deserve. I've had past clients look back and say "I wish we'd spent more time on this, but I just wanted to get to the reception and sit, eat, and see my guests". 

Another schedule element is the time of day. A wedding in December? Where I live that means the sun is setting around 4:30. If the ceremony starts at 5:00, your time in the sun is gone before you even start. Those beautiful natural light photos definitely can't be achieved after the sun has been down for an hour and a half. For winter weddings I have to strongly suggest doing a first look.

2. It calms nerves

The anticipation is crazy on a wedding day! In my experience (both as a photographer and a bride) it really helps calm nerves to be able to see your partner throughout the day. Instead of letting that sick, nervous anticipation build up all day the bride and groom get to spend the majority of the day hanging out with their best friend.

3. It's intimate

First Looks are significantly more intimate that seeing each other during the walk down the aisle. The couple is alone, with the exception of a sneaky photographer. No one has to worry about someone stepping into the aisle to get an iphone photo and blocking the view of the other person. It's ok to cry, laugh, react however. No one is watching. When the couple finally sees each other they get to TALK and TOUCH! They can spend a moment completely alone before the chaos ensues. They can ask how the other person is feeling, if they're nervous. At the ceremony there's no moment to just bask in it. The bride walks out, and then the ceremony is under way. After the ceremony everyone wants to talk to the couple, hug them, get photos with them. Oh, and they still have to go take the professional photos. There's no time to simply be alone together for a minute until it's all completely over.

Still DON'T want to do a First Look? That's ok. It's not for everybody - and it doesn't have to be. For those of you who want to keep it traditional I have some ideas I'll share with you soon! Stay tuned!

What to Wear for Your Engagement Session

It happens to all of my clients. They're pumped for their engagement session and then it hits them... what on earth do I WEAR?

Choosing clothes for an engagement session is a pretty big deal. You'll have the photos forever, probably use them on the Save the Dates or Invites, maybe display them at the ceremony, slap them all over social media. I get it - you gotta look adorable! Well, I'm here to tell you it's not so scary choosing outfits for your engagement session - I promise. Here are some tips to help you make sure you look your absolute best in your photos. 

1. BE COMFORTABLE - BE YOU

This should be obvious, but if you're not comfortable in what you're wearing you aren't going to LOOK comfortable. Don't wear something that is too tight, or bulges in a weird place when you sit. Get clothes that feel good and look good on YOU. Ask your friends what kind of cuts and colors flatter you most. You should be confident and feeling great about how you look. Your clothes should accurately represent you and your style.

2. PATTERNS ARE TOTALLY ALLOWED

I always get asked if it's ok to wear a pattern. Yes, it is! There are a couple of rules to follow though when choosing patterns for your session. First, your probably shouldn't both wear a pattern. It's not always a terrible idea, but I say each outfit should have one major pattern between the two of you. If the girl is wearing a polka dot dress, maybe the guy wears a solid colored button down. If the guy is wearing a plaid shirt, maybe the girl wears a solid color dress that matches one of the minor colors in the plaid. Second, go big or go home. Avoid things with really tiny plaids or houndstooth. Those patterns cause strange distortions in camera. Just trust me.

3. MIX IT UP

My engagement sessions are 90 minutes long. This provides for two or three wardrobe changes. I like to tell my clients to have one more formal outfit and one or two more casual outfits - all of which should represent your style. Changing clothes creates more diversity in your images and helps you get the most out of your session for the best images possible.

I'd love to dedicate a blog post to any other questions you might have. What things do you want answered before your session?

Wedding Advice - Where to spend your money

One thing I love about being a wedding photographer is that I have been an asset to my friends when it came time to plan their weddings. Every time someone I know gets engaged they come to me asking my advice, which if you don't know me I LOVE to give advice. :) There are definitely some patterns I've noticed in my time as a wedding photographer that I think would be useful to someone currently planning a wedding. I wanted to share some of those with you today. Today's theme is where to spend your money (and where NOT to). I hope you can gain something from the experiences of your friendly neighborhood wedding photographer. 

1. DO spend money on a good wedding photographer.
(I know a good one if you're looking)

Yeah, I said it. You should allocate a good portion of your wedding budget to photography. Your wedding photos are the only thing that remain after your big day is over. Yes, you might keep your wedding dress, but you most likely will not ever wear it again. It will go in a preservation box and remain there for years and years. Yes, you will keep a portion of your cake to eat on your one year anniversary, but after that anniversary your cake is gone.

The one thing that you can keep and interact with on a daily basis for the rest of your life is your PHOTOS. These are the most tangible reminder of your wedding day. It's the best way to share with others who couldn't be in attendance. It's the best way to share with generations to come. It's the best way to ensure that your wedding day memories are secure.

Speaking as a former bride, there are a lot of things about your wedding day that you will forget about or miss entirely because the day is so busy and packed with emotions. If you have a great wedding photographer you will have wedding photos that tell your full wedding story so that you can remember fondly everything that happened on your special day.

2. DO spend money on a good venue.

I feel that this is often overlooked. Many brides who are working with a tight budget decide to save themselves money by choosing a cheap venue. A cheap venue is great, an UGLY venue is not. So often I find that brides who were trying to save money on a venue ended up spending even more money on decorations to try and make an ugly venue look better.

Save yourself this time, effort, and money and just pick a venue that is naturally beautiful. This means you will need to spend less money on decorations and less time beautifying.

I personally feel that it takes too much time and effort to try and make a recreation center gymnasium look beautiful, and usually these attempts are rather unsuccessful. It doesn't matter how many lights you drape. I can still tell that I'm in a rec center gymnasium. Do yourself AND your wedding photos a favor and find a naturally beautiful site for your wedding.

If you are working with a tight budget and don't want to spend a ton of money on an expensive venue I would encourage you to talk to family and friends and see if anyone has some pretty land that they own. Backyard weddings are beautiful and very affordable!

3. DO spend money on your reception over your ceremony.

In most cases your guests will spend 30 minutes or less at your ceremony. They could spend hours at your reception. At your ceremony the guests focus is all on you. The only area I would say you really need to concern yourself with is the place where you will be standing.

At the receptions guests will be wandering, looking around the whole space instead of just toward the front. The reception is where it is important to leave a good impression and make your guests time there enjoyable. 

4. DON'T spend money on your ceremony programs.

Don't get me wrong, your programs should look nice. I'm a graphic designer so I would certainly never advocate having tacky programs. That being said, people WILL throw these away. They will. I hate to be the one to tell you that if you had higher hopes for the future of your wedding programs. Unfortunately, 99% of your programs end up in program heaven immediately after the shindig is over.

I would recommend having a classy program design and getting them printed as cheap as possible. Or, you could do a chalkboard program or something along that vein so that you aren't wasting paper at all. It's cheaper AND nice to nature. Win, win. 

5. DON'T spend money on decorations that you will never use for anything else.

This leads back up to our first point of having a beautiful venue. If you have a beautiful venue you will need to buy fewer decoration items. You will still need to decorate somehow.

My recommendation is to decorate with things that you will be able to use in your home, or use a lot of flowers. Flowers are classy, timeless, beautiful, and after the wedding is over you don't have to find somewhere to store them or try and sell them on Etsy. Send a vase of flowers home with your bridesmaids and you're done. I think you're doing yourself a favor by not purchasing a vintage birdcage to go on every single table because then you are the owner of 50 vintage birdcages. What does one do with 50 vintage birdcages, exactly? Nothing. One does nothing.

Also don't do this because that trend is dead. Anyway, that's another blog post entirely. The point is, brides can rack up a ton of money spent on reception table decor that they have no interest in using in the future. If you have a very specific idea in mind for your reception and don't want to purchase those items, RENT them. It's a lot easier than having a closet full of identical centerpieces that you can't get rid of.

I hope that was helpful! Look forward to more wedding planning posts. Be sure to comment and leave me your thoughts!